Renewal.

Today I made a verbal agreement in the presence of several of my work-related superiors to return to Japan next fall and teach for another year.

In the back of my head, a little voice said, "Except if I get hired for the job I'm applying for in Spain."

It's been a tough couple of days, trying to prepare for this decision. I don't feel like there was a "right" or "wrong" answer, which is hard for me. I don't feel like the God of the Universe willed for me to say either "yes" or "no." So I acknowledged the fears I have about both answers, and decided to say yes. I feel relieved to have simply delivered an answer. My fears are not entirely gone, but hope is much greater than fear. Another year in Japan will not be easy, but either would a year in any other country. Life is tough, but it's beautiful.