Being a verbal processor and staying quiet for extended periods of time is difficult. (And no, reading simple English sentences from a textbook to a classroom full of Japanese teens and preteens doesn’t count.) I’m ready to take up talking to myself just to work through the countless undeveloped ideas bouncing around in my head. Typing brings temporary relief, but is not a solution. I am a communal being. A part of me is smothered when I am away from intimate community for too long. How I long to have two sided conversations about things that are important in my life, and hear wise insight from those who know me best. I feel like I should go back to counseling, just so someone will listen to my thoughts. I don’t care if it’s like buying a friend – at this point, it’d be worth it!
I think it is a basic human desire to have our voices, thoughts, and opinions, heard and valued. How does that happen when you move to a new place and don’t have intimate acquaintances?
In my head, I answer my own question. “Prayer.” But I quickly refute this answer because God doesn’t respond audibly and engage in conversation the way close friends do. They have voices to which my ears have been trained to listen.
Do I need to be trained to hear God this way? How does one train herself to do this?
