Being a verbal processor and staying quiet for extended periods of time is difficult. (And no, reading simple English sentences from a textbook to a classroom full of Japanese teens and preteens doesn’t count.) I’m ready to take up talking to myself just to work through the countless undeveloped ideas bouncing around in my head. Typing brings temporary relief, but is not a solution. I am a communal being. A part of me is smothered when I am away from intimate community for too long. How I long to have two sided conversations about things that are important in my life, and hear wise insight from those who know me best. I feel like I should go back to counseling, just so someone will listen to my thoughts. I don’t care if it’s like buying a friend – at this point, it’d be worth it!
I think it is a basic human desire to have our voices, thoughts, and opinions, heard and valued. How does that happen when you move to a new place and don’t have intimate acquaintances?
In my head, I answer my own question. “Prayer.” But I quickly refute this answer because God doesn’t respond audibly and engage in conversation the way close friends do. They have voices to which my ears have been trained to listen.
Do I need to be trained to hear God this way? How does one train herself to do this?
1 comment:
While I'm not qualified to answer the God part, I can say that psychologically it's important to have someone to communicate with. You'll adapt with time, but it will be hard, as is life. Talking aloud isn't a bad thing as long as you recognize that it's just you in the room and that you don't think you're talking to another person. If you can have a pet, try a fish. I spent some time talking to Maybel in TN because everyone around me was always so busy (including me). Sometimes just the sound of a voice you can recognize and understand helps. Now that school is on break, feel free to get a hold of me. I'm on the computer quite frequently and enjoy communicating.
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